Understanding our feelings and experiences

There are things that you may be thinking and feeling as a result of your experiences. It can be really overwhelming to have these on top of juggling other things in your life. As hard as they are, they can be a sign that you might need some more support.
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Some of the things that you might be feeling can build up slowly, and can start to feel like part of your day to day life, for example being extremely worried. Others might happen suddenly, and feel really scary, like feeling like you can’t breathe.
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We’ve collected a list of thoughts and feelings that have occured to other survivors. Do some of these make you think ‘Yes! That’s exactly what I feel like..’?

What we see and feel:

• Feeling very, very tired, sleeping a lot more than usual
• Feeling like it’s hard to breathe
• Getting ill more often than before
• Changes in your appetite: feeling like you can’t eat, or eating more or differently than before
• Crying more easily than you did before, or not feeling able to cry at all

What we think:

• Feeling alone
• Feeling like it’s not worth it, feeling not worth other people’s care and attention
• Feeling like it’s never going to get easier and you can’t move forward
• Feeling suffocated
• Seeing everything very negatively, especially when thinking about the future and this doesn’t match what your friends/family think at all
• Remembering how you were put down by the abusive person and still feeling like what they said is true even though others tell you that saying something like that is cruel and unjustified
• Feeling guilty about what happened to you, or where you are now.

Things that make it harder to live our life:

• Waking up at night, not being able to sleep, having nightmares
• Feeling unable to concentrate or focus
• Feeling easily irritated or agitated
• Feeling frozen and unable to move
• Feeling like you are on high alert
• Getting a feeling of being panicked by raised voices, when a discussion gets a bit heated or when you are with people that in some way resemble the person who was abusive towards you, your brain becomes foggy and you find it difficult to continue with whatever you want to do

You don’t have to have all these feelings and thoughts to use this guide. We’re here to support you and provide information and advice that can help you deal with any or all of these things, to help you on your journey.